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Monday, August 30, 2010

i call it bitter-sweet

Two weeks back:

Paduday: Te, guess what?
Me: What?
Paduday: Muuli ko. Mag resign ko. (Am going home. Am resigning)
Me: Hmmn...murag I know why and you know what.
Paduday: Yes! *laughed
Me; As innnnnn?! Buntis ka? *TSK-ed TSK-ed (Dead serious?! You're preggy?)
Paduday: Hahaha. Kay dugayan man ka gud! (Because you are too slow!)
Me: Hayyyyy. But ohhh congrats! (oh-so deep sigh)

I am not happy she's going to make me a lola again. 
But I am happy she's so happy.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

rough and tough

I am so messed up and totally broke.
YES, Broker than BROKE!

I am having such a rough and tough time of my life right now.
Worst thing of all, I am working, but I have nothing.

My family has always been living a simple and ordinary life. But I have always in my mind, am going to take the complications of comfort anytime.


Here I am - taking the complications of the simplest i believe comfort-and-such i am being and having:
a) single and free and on my own
b) working abroad
c) holding credit cards

Yes, I call it comfort-and-such being single and free and on-my-own.
Because I feel like I have the whole world for myself and I can smile smugly when my married friends and relatives and whomsoever argue with their hubbies over something stupid and end up hardly finding either ways of staying or separating.
The complication is, I see myself happy but desperate now. I am in an open relationship when all I want is commitment. I am happy because I love him; not sure if he does really love me, anyway. I take the risk and I don't know where is this taking me in the end.

Yes, I call it comfort-and-such working abroad too.
Because not only is a great way to see the world but also is a way of soaring off and breaking-free. Above all, I earn far higher salary compared to working in my country. Little did I know, 4 years can pass incredibly quickly and I see there is really nothing I can brag about when I come back home.

And oh, Yes, isn't it comfort-and-such to happy-go-shop even without money? The more credit cards, the happier I USED TO be. Now, believe me, the complications overload is killing me. I want to be debt-freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Oh Heavens, please help me.
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